radiance

I will stand up.

I will not lie down and be trampled by lies, by enemies, or self.

Especially self.

I will seek God first and foremost.

I am human.

I will fall and fail.

I will fall in His grace evermore because it is always sufficient.

I will do my best where I am with what I have in order to bring God glory.

I will see God.  

It is a process

I have a lot to learn

and to change

and be changed.

For God, so loved the world, everyone, that He sent his one and only Son, that He loves dearly, so that whoever truly believes in Him, which encompasses surrender of control and the future, of self, while have eternal life.

Following the One who gave everything possible for every single being in the past & now, future generations if He continues to allow time to tick, to gain all that you could ever need.

He is enough.

and He is not a quitter. 

The preciousness of God

God is so precious.

He is becoming the Father I have always needed and deeply, so strongly have yearned for.

I will always be thankful for this. It means more to me than anyone knows.

I have so much on my mind.

I actually really do want to be married. this is a new thing for me. i like it.

I want to be more generous

My brother is getting married in 10 days!

I miss my sister a lot.

I spend most of my life wondering what is next.

God is faithful

I had one of the most precious experiences of my life last night

God is faithful and you can count on that

Children are awesome

i’m hungry most of the time of my life

“i will not fear…”

my life is not what i had imagined it would be, and i’m glad.

i really love photos.

i love you

my heart.

“When i heard Your voice, when You called my name, my heart it yearns.”

To be accepted by an infinite God is so precious.  Before you were thought of by parents or any human being, God was already thinking of you.  He knew what he wanted you to look like, what characteristics you would have, what you struggled with today, and breathed, “Yes,” and you came to be.  I was born because God said yes.

I know to some people this will capture your heart.  BUT, i also am fully aware that it wont mean a hill of beans to another.  The truth is, if you don’t personally know God or anything, you don’t know what He thinks of you.

I’m not sure of the rhyme or reason for this post, except that *you* were supposed to read it.  The definition of a beautiful day has been changed by looking outside these past two days.  Yesterday was dreary, rainy, yucky.  Yet, it was an amazing day.  There was something about it…. maybe it was in the air, maybe it was everyone just wanting a good day, or maybe, for me, it was when i just took time to spend with God.  i sat in bed and read Isaiah 58. God has already been faithful is using the scripture that He has taught me something from to offer to teach to another in the same day.  I love when that happens.

complete independence in life was my downfall; my pride.  I had to break and fall, and be picked back up in order to see reality correctly again, to return back to Love.  it was the kind of pride when i thought i had everything figured out. ha. if you think you do, you REALLY don’t.  no one is perfect. we all have learning to do, no matter what your age, no matter what subject.  

I am amazed by this simple fact:  You can always go to God and He accepts you and loves you.  tell me something that compares with that.  i haven’t found anything that beats that.

unfaithful sex. pornography. cheating. stealing. lying.  we all ride the same boat. i’ll accept you. i love because i was Loved First by God. that’s it. i’ll love back.  i do not promise to be perfect at it, because ive been so prideful. but i promise trying.

there is no price on the human life.  human trafficking   </3

It starts with you, not someone else.

More.

There is so more for me in You.

I want to change with your power that which is impossible.

When i am with the God who does the impossible, and live in mediocrity, what does that speak? It’s like having a key to a door that is locked and trying to bust it down yourself with just your pounding fist, forgetting the simple twist of the key opens it.

it’s being so blind… of yourself, that you don’t the many opportunities daily to take to bring change. 

and its more than change. its about freedom. i am free from the grips of hell, and i must help you as well.  you are free to free others. you aren’t helped to let it stop there, it must produce that which brought about fruit.

I think of freedom often

I think of God literally saving me from such deep self hatred that no longer runs my life… let me show you.

He took the hands of those around me and led them to me to help. he gave them freedom and had them speak truth into my life. as truth outweighed, outnumbered and dominated the lies, i had freedom. it must multiple.

i pray for opportunities scheduled by God to reproduce the freedom from my life.  “where the spirit of the Lord is, there IS freedom”  i pray to walk beyond my fear and keep going.  i pray to say yes.

let the words become action.

faith without works is dead

awake o sleeper… you have had your rest. now move along. give me eyes to see and ears to hear, may nothing pass me by that was meant for me to be part of. there is so much more…

War

I see the battles right in front of my eyes.

There is not a tangible sword or flesh being broken

Like swallowed posion, you may never touch it

But sometimes, the toxin is spread like wild fire.

I used to be a victim of this war, of this losing battle

Some have life at threat, others sit in it’s waste

I have done both.

I can’t pick up my battle with my hands and show it to you

I will never be able to make you feel what I have felt

You have either been in my shoes, or know someone in them

It takes on many forms but the same goal

It has crippled me, held me, and brought pain

it has been destroyed, rejected, hated, and refused

I am living, showing the complete victory

It has been defeated & finished.

It is no longer my identity because I kept going

Keep going…

You’re not the only one, and you are not alone <3

“The irony is that while God doesn’t need 
us but still wants us, we desperately need God but don’t really want Him most of the 
time. 
“ 
— Francis Chan

‎”Let love and faithfulness never leave you. Bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart” ♥

Adoption…

 

Grab This Button

I recently read a blog about this little boy.  A dear family is trying to adopt Kirill from Russia but is being denied because he has down syndrome. For more info go to: 

http://www.oureyesopened.blogspot.com/

Pray for them! Let them know you care.

Crazy Love

“Our greatest fear as individuals and as a church should not be of failure but of succeeding at things in life that don’t really matter.”—Tim Kizziar

I hear about this secret church, and i pray for a day where we spend hours in the Holy Bible, as if we actually depend on the word of God, which is God, where you are in His presence.  I hear of countries meeting everyday to learn what the Bible says, what does it mean? is He speaking to me in this verse? This is why I would really want to go to bible college; I want to take all that I can from this book, from the words of God.  Bible college, or another country is gathered to learn. For now it starts in my little bedroom. But it doesn’t stop there. 

I dedicate my life to God, to serving the needs of the hungry, the oppressed, the people in chains who need justice, the people who have been forgotten, the hungry babies, and every single person who comes along the path I am walking.  ”I’ll follow you into the world” & the world is in my backyard, its right in front of my face.  I won’t be perfect but I have Perfection guiding me.  

have your way…

“When we put it plainly like this—as a direct choice between God and our stuff—most of us hope we would choose God.  But we need to realize that how we spend our time, what our money goes toward, and where we will invest our energy is equivalent to choosing God or rejecting Him.  How could we think for even a second that something on this puny little earth compares to the Creator and Sustainer and Savior of it all?”

take my stuff. take whatever you need.

I have lived seeing that I don’t need it.  I have been provided for on less than I used to have.

“but if i have not loved, I gain nothing”

God, create in me a pure heart. teach me to love You. wholeheartedly. always. teach me to give You my very best.